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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Free Sex Dating nearby Orchard Heights, Ontario. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. If you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.

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I am not the sole one finding these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were really nice guys. And let's simply say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a solid (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I have always resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about appearing rude and ill-mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can in fact be a great source of amusement, particularly when wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some rather disturbing trends I've noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular extent, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or how exactly to get their attention. But these gaffes are so apparent that I think that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of guys I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that definitely shouted "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young children (rather boys). One of my all time favorites however was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).

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