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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Free Sex Dating in Wha Ti, Northwest Territories. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photograph the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your picture, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the only one detecting these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I sensed they were extremely nice guys. And let's just say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails often going unanswered. I wanted to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a great source of entertainment, particularly if wine is involved. But what I find somewhat distressing are some rather disturbing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain extent, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or the way to get their focus. But these gaffes are really so clear that I believe it is time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of guys I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I have encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely yelled "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young children (rather boys). One of my all time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was driven to find love online (yay us!).

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