Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Free sex dating closest to Arrow Park, British Columbia. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can shoot your picture, or you don't own a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
I am not the only one seeing these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of scarcely receiving e-mails from women, of their emails often going unanswered. I needed to catch these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about appearing rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can in fact be a wonderful source of amusement, particularly if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain degree, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or how to get their attention. However, these gaffes are so clear that I believe it is time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of guys I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I have encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that clearly shouted "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a girl with young kids (rather lads). One of my all time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love on-line (yay us!).
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