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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Free Sex Dating nearby Rivercourse, Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your photo, or you do not own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the sole one finding these trends. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were really nice guys. And let's simply say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I liked to catch these men by their shoulders, and give them a powerful (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Many of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be an excellent source of amusement, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some rather disturbing tendencies I've noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be quite ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular degree, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or ways to get their attention. But these gaffes are so clear that I think it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that certainly cried "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a woman with young children (preferably lads). One of my all time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).

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