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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap Hookers nearest Kynocks Yukon. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you do not own a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the sole one seeing these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of scarcely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I wanted to catch these men by their shoulders, and give them a solid (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be a wonderful source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly disturbing tendencies I've noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite regular otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular extent, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or ways to get their focus. But these gaffes are really so clear that I believe that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that clearly yelled "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young kids (rather boys). One of my all-time favorites however was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).

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