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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers nearby Shawinigan, Quebec. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I am not the sole one seeing these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of scarcely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I needed to catch these men by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be an excellent source of entertainment, particularly if wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing trends I Have noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be fairly standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating beginners, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the way to get their attention. But these gaffes are so clear that I believe that it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that certainly screamed "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young kids (rather boys). One of my all-time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).

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