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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near Saint-Justin Quebec. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. If you don't have a single friend who can shoot your picture, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.

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I am not the sole one detecting these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the subject of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men because I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving emails from women, of their emails often going unanswered. I wanted to catch these guys by their shoulders, and give them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of appearing rude and ill-mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be a wonderful source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. But what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly distressing trends I Have noted in many men's profiles who seem to be fairly ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating rookies, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or how exactly to get their focus. However, these gaffes are really so obvious that I believe it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that selecting the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that certainly shouted "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a woman with young children (preferably lads). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).

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