Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near Saguenay Quebec. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can take your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I am not the only one noticing these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men because I felt they were really nice guys. And let us simply say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails often going unanswered. I wanted to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a strong (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I have always resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of seeming rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be an excellent source of amusement, especially if wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing tendencies I've noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly regular otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating beginners, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular degree, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or how exactly to get their focus. But these gaffes are so clear that I think it is time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I've been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little over a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that clearly cried "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a girl with young kids (preferably lads). One of my all-time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).
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