Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers nearest Lavaltrie Quebec. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I am not the single one detecting these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were genuinely nice guys. And let us simply say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails often going unanswered. I wanted to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill mannered.
Many of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of entertainment, particularly when wine is involved. But what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain degree, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or the best way to get their focus. However, these gaffes are so clear that I believe that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the quality of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I have come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that clearly screamed "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a woman with young children (rather boys). One of my all-time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).
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