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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near Tiverton Nova Scotia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the only one noticing these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let's just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their emails frequently going unanswered. I liked to catch these men by their shoulders, and give them a solid (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can be a wonderful source of amusement, especially if wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite regular otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating beginners, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular extent, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or the best way to get their focus. But these gaffes are so apparent that I believe that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that selecting the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that definitely cried "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a woman with young children (rather boys). One of my all time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).

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