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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap Hookers closest to Plaister Mines, Nova Scotia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the single one seeing these trends. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I sensed they were really nice guys. And let's just say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving emails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I liked to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a solid (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about appearing rude and ill mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be a great source of entertainment, particularly when wine is involved. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly distressing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who seem to be quite ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or ways to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so apparent that I think it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that clearly shouted "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a girl with young kids (rather boys). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).

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