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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap hookers closest to Mabou Harbour Nova Scotia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. If you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you don't own a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the sole one seeing these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the subject of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were really nice guys. And let's just say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I liked to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be an excellent source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly distressing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who seem to be fairly regular otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating rookies, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular extent, uncertain of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their focus. But these gaffes are so obvious that I believe it is time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I have encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that definitely shouted "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep desire to meet a girl with young children (rather lads). One of my all-time favorites however was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love on-line (yay us!).

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