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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near Prince William New Brunswick. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can shoot your picture, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the only one detecting these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were genuinely nice guys. And let us simply say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving e-mails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to catch these men by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can be a wonderful source of entertainment, particularly when wine is involved. But what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing trends I Have noted in many men's profiles who seem to be quite ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the way to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so obvious that I believe that it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little over a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that selecting the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that certainly howled "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a girl with young kids (preferably boys). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).

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