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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap hookers in Chatham, New Brunswick. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your photograph, or you don't own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the single one finding these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were really nice guys. And let's just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their emails frequently going unanswered. I wanted to grab these guys by their shoulders, and give them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about appearing rude and ill mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can be an excellent source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. But what I find somewhat distressing are some rather disturbing trends I Have noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating rookies, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or the best way to get their focus. However, these gaffes are so obvious that I believe it is time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a popular online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that selecting the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely shouted "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a woman with young kids (rather boys). One of my all-time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).

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