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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near me Streatham British Columbia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your photograph, or you don't own a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the single one finding these trends. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the subject of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their emails frequently going unanswered. I liked to grab these guys by their shoulders, and give them a powerful (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I have always resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of seeming rude and ill mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be an excellent source of entertainment, particularly when wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing tendencies I Have noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular degree, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their focus. However, these gaffes are so apparent that I believe it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I must say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the characteristic of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that definitely howled "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a woman with young children (rather lads). One of my all-time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).

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