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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap hookers closest to Riske Creek, British Columbia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you do not own a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I am not the only one seeing these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let us simply say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I liked to catch these men by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of appearing rude and ill-mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a great source of amusement, particularly when wine is involved. But what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing trends I Have noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite regular otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain degree, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or ways to get their attention. But these gaffes are so obvious that I believe that it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that picking the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely cried "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a girl with young children (preferably boys). One of my all time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was driven to find love on-line (yay us!).

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