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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers near me Deerholme British Columbia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photograph the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I am not the only one noticing these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I needed to grab these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about appearing rude and ill mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing tendencies I Have noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating beginners, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular extent, uncertain of what the other sex is searching for, or how exactly to get their focus. However, these gaffes are really so clear that I believe it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that selecting the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that clearly yelled "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a girl with young children (rather lads). One of my all-time favorites however was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).

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