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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap Hookers closest to Briar Ridge British Columbia. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the sole one detecting these trends. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the subject of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I felt they were genuinely nice guys. And let's simply say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails often going unanswered. I wanted to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Many of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can be a wonderful source of amusement, especially if wine is included. But what I find somewhat distressing are some rather distressing trends I've noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating newcomers, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain degree, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or how exactly to get their focus. However, these gaffes are so obvious that I believe it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I must say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that clearly screamed "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a woman with young children (preferably lads). One of my all time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).

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