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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap Hookers closest to Skaro, Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can take your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I am not the sole one noticing these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of scarcely receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to grab these men by their shoulders, and provide them a powerful (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about seeming rude and ill-mannered.

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Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of entertainment, particularly if wine is involved. But what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing trends I've noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular degree, uncertain of what the other sex is looking for, or the way to get their attention. However, these gaffes are so apparent that I think it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the characteristic of guys I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that definitely screamed "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a woman with young kids (preferably boys). One of my all-time favorites however was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).

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