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Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers in Kehewin Cree Nation, Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your picture, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.

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I am not the only one detecting these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I needed to grab these men by their shoulders, and provide them a powerful (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about appearing rude and ill mannered.

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Many of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of amusement, particularly if wine is involved. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some rather distressing tendencies I've noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating rookies, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or ways to get their attention. But these gaffes are really so clear that I think it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little over a year now, and I must say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that selecting the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely yelled "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a woman with young children (preferably lads). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was driven to find love on-line (yay us!).

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