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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap Hookers closest to Hargwen, Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I am not the sole one finding these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were extremely nice guys. And let us simply say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a strong (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant promotion techniques. But I've consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a anxiety about seeming rude and ill mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be a great source of amusement, particularly if wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly disturbing tendencies I Have noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite standard otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain degree, uncertain of what the other sex is searching for, or ways to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so clear that I think that it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular online dating service for a little over a year now, and I must say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've run into a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that definitely screamed "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a girl with young kids (preferably boys). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).

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