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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Cheap hookers in Ferintosh, Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. If you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the single one finding these trends. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let's simply say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving emails from women, of their e-mails frequently going unanswered. I needed to catch these men by their shoulders, and provide them a strong (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a anxiety about appearing rude and ill-mannered.

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A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a few gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can in fact be an excellent source of entertainment, especially if wine is involved. But what I find somewhat distressing are some rather distressing trends I've noted in many men's profiles who seem to be fairly standard otherwise. I do empathize, actually. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their focus. However, these gaffes are really so apparent that I believe it is time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I've been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who thought that picking the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that certainly howled "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a woman with young kids (rather boys). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).

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