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Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Cheap Hookers nearby Dapp Alberta. Anyway, here goes:

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I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photo the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.

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I'm not the only one noticing these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the subject of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men since I felt they were really nice guys. And let us just say that I was not surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving emails from women, of their emails frequently going unanswered. I wanted to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a strong (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant promotion techniques. But I've always resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of seeming rude and ill mannered.

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Many of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can actually be an excellent source of amusement, particularly if wine is included. But what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly disturbing trends I've noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating beginners, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain degree, unsure of what the other sex is looking for, or how exactly to get their focus. However, these gaffes are really so apparent that I think it is time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?

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I have been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that clearly shouted "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep desire to meet a woman with young children (rather lads). One of my all time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still intensely in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was driven to find love on-line (yay us!).

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